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You might be a paddler | kayaker | canoeist if...


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Green Wave Forum
Published Saturday, February 07, 2009

So, how can you tell if you really are a paddler, kayaker or canoeist? Here are some helpful tips from Green Wave Forum contributors.

You might be a paddler if...

1. You name your children Perception, Eddyline and Sevylor (ed)

2. You have more kayaks than children (ed)

3. A tropical depression passing by is NOT a reason to not go paddling! (flkrakr)

4. When you pass vehicles on the road with boats on the roof, you wonder where they are going to paddle (paddlesolo)

5. You think you might leave your boat on top of the car all the time, because you might get the urge to paddle at any minute (paddlesolo)

6. You don't mind that the inside floor of your vehicle is covered with sand (paddlesolo)

7. You don't mind the scratches on the roof of your vehicle (paddlesolo)

8. You are considering building a closet in the garage to hold your paddling clothes, because they are crowding out your everyday clothing in your bedroom closet (paddlesolo)

9. You don't cancel paddles just because it is raining  (paddlesolo)

10. You purchase a third vehicle when there are only two drivers in your family because it has 4 wheel drive (paddlesolo)

11. You name your pets after the rivers you find them on (ptpdls)

12. They know you by name at the outfitters store (ptpdls)

13. You know most of the people on the river (ptpdls)

14. You need a new life jacket (ptpdls)

15. You load more than two boats on your rack at least 2x weekly (ptpdls)

16. Your paddle is well worn and still worth more than everything else you own (ptpdls)

17. Nobody can fit into your boat because of the outfitting (ptpdls)

18. There is no where to sit on your front porch because all your gear is drying (ptpdls)

19. When rain, sun, bugs, gators, remoteness, 2 hour put in's, and stinky gear, don't matter (ptpdls)

20. You don't have any friends that don't paddle (ptpdls)

21. The tops of your hands have the paddlers burn/tan. Dark to the knuckles, white to the nails. (yakdave)

22. You are female, and you start to think sprayskirts are "kinda cute" (donkeyoatey)

23. When every trip report you read on the Greenwave makes you think "I need to go paddle that spot" (paddlesolo)

24. Your idea of a vacation is a trip to the Everglades to paddle the thousand Islands, SOLO. (chiefg)

25. Your paddles, lifevest and watershoes are always in the backseat of the truck. (chiefg)

26. You are male, and you start to think sprayskirts make females "kinda cute" (ed)

27. You travel 6 hours for a 4 hour paddle trip (slashpine)

28. The inside of your legs are nice and tan, especially around the knees (slashpine)

29. You spend more time in wet clothes than dry (ed)

30. Your car is used as a "quick change" station (ed)

31. Your lifetime goal is to roll a kayak (ed)

32. You missed your anniversary because you were out paddling with friends (ed)

33. You can go paddling anywhere in Florida and don't need a map (ed)

34. Sand in your sleeping bag isn't a problem (ed)

35. You have a bumper sticker that says "my other car is a canoe" (ed)

36. You pack your boat, pfd and paddle when leaving for church on Sunday morning (ed)

37. Your license plate is "PADLME" (ed)

38. The blue book value of your truck goes up by 50% when you put your kayak on top (ed)

39. You watch Deliverance the night before going canoeing (ed)

40. You trade in your last 2 vehicles cause the roof rusted out (finstix)




You might be a kayaker if...

1. You paid more for a roof rack and kayak than your car

2. You can't drive over a bridge without looking for a put-in

3. Your sea kayak doubles as a coffee table in the living room

4. Driving 600 miles for a weekend doesn't seem strange

5. You choose cars based on the kayaks they will carry

6. You have funny suntan lines year-round

7. Your dog loves to roll in your wet clothes after a paddling trip

8. You already have four boats and are convinced you need another one

9. You base career decisions on if the new job will increase or decrease paddling time

10. You have no fear of changing clothes in front of total strangers

11. You are envious of other drivers with kayaks on top of their cars if yours doesn't have one

12. If a hurricane is in the Gulf you'll go paddling and enjoy the big waves.

13. You know all species of wading birds by name and some of their scientific names as well

14. You practice rolling in your swimming pool

15. You keep trying to sneak your kayak onto the "log ride" at Disneyland



You might be a canoeist if...

1. You buy clothes based on how fast they will dry

2. You always have a huge plastic tub in the back of your car full of paddling clothes and gear

3. You've lost count of the number of canoes that you've owned

4. Your camping gear is packed and ready to go at a moment's notice

5. You know that whitewater canoes are different from recreational canoes, which are different from tripping canoes. And you have several of each.

6. You've paddled in a canoe that holds more than 3 people

7. You know what a PFD is

8. You don't know what PDF is

9. You carry your river knife on and off the water

10. You'd trade spouses before your favorite paddle

11. Your dream vacation is Boundary Waters Canoe Area in northeastern Minnesota

12. You prefer to pee outside

13. Upon meeting a stranger, 90% of your conversation is water and weather

14. You can quickly whip off definitions for "aft", "beam", "j stroke", "leeway", "sheer" and "yoke"

15. You watched "Deliverance" for the whitewater action


Got more "you might be a paddler, kayaker or canoeist" jokes? Add them in the comments below!

Last update Wednesday, March 18, 2009


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Cmt You might be a paddler | kayaker | ...Login to Post   
You are in the public comment zone. What follows is not from Green Wave Forum; it comes from other people and we don't vouch for it.
ctheproducer on 3/18/2009 7:54pm
That's funny
wildbill on 3/17/2009 1:08pm
You get upset when the Coast Guard cautions you about there being Small Craft Advisories.